untitled #3
How can I be too much and not enough all at once?
Two sides of the same moldy coin,
Both echoing sentiments of a self that feels worthless.
These stormy contradictions I create inside myself are drowning me,
Pinning me down by my wrists, my neck.
I try to come up for air but I’m still gasping, choking on the poisonous atmosphere I’ve painted over my head.
It’s exhausting, dragging myself through this endless slog
Every step weighed down by the crumbling concrete block in my chest.
The hills are mountains with unreachable peaks,
The valleys, craters carved deep into the earth, exposing its molten core.
It’s almost easier to stay in the eye of the hurricane when the spray of calm waves feels like daggers on my skin.
7/20/20